Broken
by smileyfaces123
Summary: Luna likes Ginny, but can't tell her, read to find out what happens Femmslash & self harm
1. Chapter 1

People think that I'm dumb, stupid, and loony. But they don't really know me; if they took the time to talk to me they'd see a whole different person. I'm not loopy, loony, or crazy or whatever people call me behind my back. I'm shy, nervous and scared of being hurt again, I can't get hurt again, and I don't think I could survive.

I think I'm broken, my heart keeps doing weird things whenever I'm around her, I feel empty without her, I can't function with or without her. I'm broken…

Her smile, her laugh, her fiery red hair, her personality, everything about her is constantly on my mind. I had to do something, anything to get her out of my mind. I walk towards my wand, a beautiful wand but nowhere near as beautiful as her, and conjure a small dagger.

It's a mesmerising dagger, it's jewelled and shiny and oh so pretty, I lift it to eye level and stare at the level edge of the blade, it's going to look so much better coated with blood. I press the blade to my wrist and watch as the blood runs down my arm, I do it again and the pleasure I get from not having Ginny on my mind is so amazing that I know I will do it again and again.

3 days later

The cuts on my arms are starting to scar; I wear long sleeve tops so no one will notice. Not like they would anyway, no one notices me. I wasn't concentrating in charms and Professor Flitwick kept me behind, he asked me what was wrong, he said he'd noticed my grades were dropping, and that I was developing dark purple circles under my eyes. "Miss Lovegood you're a bright girl, but your grades are go downhill, why?" asked Professor Flitwick.

"I don't know sir." I told him, I couldn't say it's because of Ginny Weasley and the fact she's always on my mind. "Well Luna, in order to get your grades up again I've got you a tutor."

"Okay sir who is it?" I really didn't want a tutor but if it kept Professor Flitwick off my back then it couldn't be that bad, could it?

"I believe you know her, she's a Gryffindor, Hermione Granger? She's the brightest witch of her age, you know!" I sighed when he said Gryffindor I thought, no prayed that it would be Ginny and that I'd have an excuse to spend hours with her. But then he said Hermione and all the fantasies about me telling Ginny how I feel about her and she accepting me flew out of my head.

Hermione, great! The narrow minded bookworm, maybe if I talk about nargles and Crumpled-Horned Snorkacks, then she'll give up trying to be my tutor and they'll be no way in hell that she'll see my scars, or work out my feelings for a certain hot red head…

"Luna? Luna!" Professor Flitwick shouted at me. "Huh? Excuse me sir?" I say as I snap back to reality. "You went off into your own little world, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes sir I'm fine, just tired is all."

"Well as long as you're sure, if you need anything I'm here for you." Flitwick said as he got down from the pile of books on his desk.

"Yes sir I know, but nothing's wrong so there is no need to worry." I say as I turn round and walk out the door. I turn the corner and start to head up the stair case; I stop halfway up when I hear someone call my name, my heart flutters when I turn round and recognise the beautiful brown eyes, fiery red hair, cute freckles and long, oh so long, legs. "Ginny!" I say in the happiest voice I've had in a while. "Loony." She says while nodding her head. "Why'd you call my name?" I ask confusion laced in my voice. "Why would I want to talk to you? " Ginny said venomously

"Because…because we're friends?" I cry. "Friends with you, loopy Lovegood? Never! I would rather been seen with Malfoy than you!" she laughs and the Gryffindor's she's walking with laugh too.

I can't help the tears that escape my eyes, I can't help the fact that I turn and run as fast as I can to Ravenclaw dormitories. But I can help with the emotional pain; I look under my pillow and find the dagger. I press deep into my wrist, relishing in the pain and the gushing blood running down my arm, I laugh manically as I do it again, creating deep canyons on my pale skin.


	2. Chapter 2

_I press deep into my wrist, relishing in the pain and the gushing blood running down my arm, I laugh manically as I do it again, creating deep canyons on my pale skin. _

I know I have to stop before it's too late and my life ends. But I can't, the flow of blood is truly fascinating and I know, as I clean the blood from the dagger, that I will do it tomorrow and the day after and the day after; at least until someone, anyone finds out and tries to help.

I climb onto my bed and fall asleep thinking about the beautiful red headed demon that causes me so much pain and yet so much joy.

2 days later

It's been two days since the incident with Ginny and I've finally managed to forgive her, after all she must have a reason behind being mean to me. I walk down the staircase, towards the great hall and I see her laughing with Harry, she pushes her hair behind her ear and looks up at him through her eyelashes. No! She's flirting with him, and he isn't stopping her. I've got to do something about it, as I approach them I hear Harry saying "just tell her how you feel Ginny, stop pretending you can't stand her it's obviously hurting her!" My spirits lift slightly with what Harry just said, Ginny likes someone! And it's a girl! "It's not that simple Harry, what if she rejects me? And what if she doesn't, and we end up together and then the whole school starts talking and we become outcasts?"

"Ginny you know for a fact that I, Hermione and your brothers won't leave you, and to be quite honest most of Gryffindor won't either, and the one's that do aren't worth your time."

"Your right Harry I will tell her as soon as I see h…..oh hi Luna" Ginny finally acknowledges me, and I see Harry smirk from the corner of my eye. "Hi Ginny, Hi harry" I say and an awkward silence falls on us, with simply me and Ginny staring at one and other.

Harry clears his throat "err, if you two will excuse me I've got some…potions homework to do."

"Okay Harry," Ginny says without breaking eye contact with me, her gaze is a mixture of feelings, ranging from confusion to…love? "See you back in the common room later?"

Harry nods and walks away, we continue to just stare at each other, the silence getting louder until it's almost deafening. "Err… Ginny, was there something you wanted to say to me?" I ask desperate to know if I was the one they were talking about.

"Oh…Yeah there was actually… can we go somewhere a bit more private?" She asks, she looks nervous her heads tilted downwards and she fidgeting with her fingers. I nod and she starts walking down the corridor, I just follow, my hopes getting higher with every step I take.

She stops outside an empty classroom and gestures for me to go in first, I walk in and sit on a table, while Ginny closes the door and presses her back against it.

"What did you want to say Ginny?" I ask, getting excited that I would be what I hoped.

"Well…you see… I have these feelings for someone, someone no one would expect. They're beautiful, the way their hair shines in the sunlight is simply mesmerising, they seem to glide instead of walk and my god their eyes are simply captivating I could get lost in them!"

"Ginny you sound as if you love this person, do I know them?" I ask as I slowly get up from table, all my hopes crushed, she couldn't possibly be talking about me I wasn't any of the things she described this person to be. I was just me, plain, boring, and insecure.

"Luna…Luna?" Ginny's voice brought me back from my thoughts. "Huh sorry?" I say not fully understanding why Ginny would bring me here to talk if I wasn't the person she seemed to love.

"Don't worry…it was stupid for me to say that, I knew you couldn't feel the same…"

"Ginny what are you going on about?" I say trying to keep my voice from showing the excitement I felt.

"well… you asked if you knew the person I was talking about, and I said yes, I said it was…you" Ginny then buries her face in her hands and I think it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

I walk towards her slowly, as I'm about to prise her hands away from her face Ginny mumbles "it's okay Luna you don't have to let me down gently, I can take it"

"Ginny look at me please." I ask her gently, when she doesn't budge, I try to pull her hands away from her face, but she's built muscles from playing Quidditch and there's no way I can move her hands, still I try and just as I manage to move her hand slightly I slip.

Ginny's hand move quickly from her face to my wrist and she stops me from, hitting my head on the floor but it comes at a price, my jumper rips and the scars on my arms some still red are on display for Ginny to see.

"Luna what are these?" Ginny asks looking closely and the scars.

"N… nothing" I stutter, shaking at the thought Ginny might abandon me if she found out.

"These don't look like nothing Luna…do you harm yourself?" Ginny asks nothing but concern and love in her eyes. "Only sometimes," I admit "when I can't cope"

"Luna," Ginny says seriously looking into my eyes, "I'm here for you always, don't cut ever again! Please for me promise that you won't"

"Ginny I promise I won't as long as I can do one thing…"

"What's the one thing Luna?" She asks curiously

"This.." and with that I close the gap between us and kiss her.

**A/n that's the end, not so good I know but this is the first time I've ever written fanfiction!**

**Anyways reviews are welcome **


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